Dare we dream big in 2008...

What a year 2007 has given me..we are into the very last day of it...I thought 2006 was bad with dad's passing and me hunting high and low for a job and my endless problems with Jason.

Though the year started with a bang with all the good happenings bestowed on me but alas everything sort of went downhill. If you have read my older posts you will know. Little did I know that the worst was yet to come. Constantly, I was under peer pressure, work stress and the internal rage within myself. There were many times I would have think I have lost it. Cut the story short, here are the list of all good and bad things that happened in 2007:-

The Good.....

1) Joining Spade Communication

2) Being best friend to the Creative Group Head

3) Getting promoted immediately upon confirmation

4) Going to Bali

5) Walking away from my relationship with Jason

6) Controlling my temper

7) Quit smoking for a month

8) Finding Amazing Grace

9) A wonderful friend in my Court Jester

10) Getting a new handphone

The Bad....

1) Accused of being unfaithful by Jason

2) Dumped by a very dear friend

3) Paying RM2K for a fantastic apartment but did not move in

4) Car getting towed all because of a bounced cheque

5) Falling down in the toilet and breaking my front tooth

6) Being misunderstood

7) Smoking again

8) Ending my friendship with the Creative Group Head

9) Couldn't control office polilitics between Servicing & Creative

10) Not having a fantabulous Christmas and New Year as I promised myself

There we go.. would not know what the year next will bring. I learnt my lesson well past 12 months. How to deal with people in the office, and hold my tongue whenever necessary, my emotions..you know it is not easy for me. We are all humans and we commit errors and some of those mistakes we made are beyond repair. I am as fragile as any of you fellas out there. And at least I can do something about it now...

Thanks Elena, ET & Leelian..whom have been supportive all these while when I was in need. I love you guys!!!

New Year Resolution...none really. No point making them if we can't keep them. Just hope a smooth & better year in 2008 thats all.

To look for the "Missing Piece" ...there will be no white flag above my door.

May your year abound with "GOD"S blessing everywhere you turn.

Happy New Year All.

Merry Be-Early Christmas, my friends.

Ho ho ho....a week more to the most anticipated time of the year. Is it going to be a "White Christmas" or a "Blue Christmas"?

How many of you actually have cleared your shopping list or are you one of those who love to do last minute shopping at bargain price?? Surprisingly, I have done mine pretty early this year...better to get it done before the dough runs out. Plenty on the list but then again I ain't Santa Claus, I am not here to play Jesus and I am not in such a 'giving' mood this 2007. So I have decided I will only give to those that deserve it. Let me see...I can count it within my ten fingers.

I think I should be heading for Christmas Mass on the eve (oh..I forgot, I have a Christmas party to attend!!!). It has been months since I last stepped into church and chatted with God. Probably need to sing Amazing Grace to save a wretch like me, hear the angels sing and look at the stars beneath my feet.

As we approach the new year, I am wondering whether it is possible for myself to find a quiet destination, away from the hustle and bustle of life and for once re-assess myself as a normal being...find time to read a book, buy a newspaper, take time to smell the rose or just merely pick up those old records and play it on the turntable. I would call that "A reflection of my life". I am surrounded by millions of people but I am still alive. Aren't we all grateful?

For me, it's standing in line. I absolutely hate to "waste time"; I live my life at a frenetic pace and don't want anything to get in my way of doing all I have to get done in a day. Until recently, I was the person in the line huffing and rolling my eyes at the wait, jiggling and looking at my watch every few seconds. And when I finally made it to the counter, I was too aggravated from having to wait to be pleasant to the person on the other side of the counter. But since life is full of line, I finally decided to change my approach. Instead of being annoyed, I decided to see waiting in line as a wonderful opportunity to slow down, take a few conscious breaths. No doubts the wait was long as ever - but I am grateful for the chance to stop.

Christmas is a wonderful time for each and everyone of us to forgive and give thanks to what we have now. Thanksgiving day is a good beginning to be with the family...hmmm "What if' the whole family were together at Thanksgiving and the turkey exploded?" That will be grand..at least there is something to talk about for years to come..*grins*

Remember rights that I did wrong. I am not calling for a second chance..I am screaming at the top of my voice, give me a reason but don't give me choice coz I just make the same mistake again. And maybe someday we will meet and maybe talk and not just speak, don't buy the promises cos there are no promises I keep and my reflection troubles me.

2008 will definitely be a better year for me. I am determined not to sink into bitterness of what has happened in 2007. While there are plenty of things in life to be justifiably annoyed (like the idiot $@#%^&*%^) angry, or hurt at, that doesn't mean that I should completely ignore the beautiful, good and touching people around me. I seriously want my soul to shine with an overflowing of love.

The world is suddenly transformed into a beautiful wonderland this Christmas, in which we are all invited to play.

Joy to the world, Joy to you and me.

It will be the "Brightest Christmas" in my eyes.

Have a blessed and memorable Yuletide everyone!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

20 October 2007

My birthday came and went without much fanfare really. Just had a normal dinner with work mates and then proceeded to what we called "clubbing"!! Went to Rain at Mont Kiara and it turned out to be a terribly bad choice!!! For a friday night it was a real let down....it was pathetic, no crowd at all and the music was super lousy!! Luckily there were pool tables so we had to channel our boredom to that...sigh

That was not my real concern anyway...I have friends wishing me BUT the person or persons I was waiting for to either sms or at least call me never materilised. I had expected it but then some where inside me I was still hoping for something. This is my most down and sad birthday I have ever went through for the past few years. Oh...both my favourite aunties as well as sisters were the very first people to wished me so I was happy for that moment. Jessica and Shebear gave me two very lovely T-shirts...and I loved it!! Muaks muaks...

I supposed I should'nt expect so much huh...knowing the current situation. So at least the answer is very obvious now..."the river of no return". I will wait no matter what....months, years..what else can I do.

I think of you each and every day and I miss you almost every minute of the day.

Memories of you will be with me forever....just like a tattoo I will always have you with me.

Auf Wiedersehen for now.....

The Leaf Has Overturned

It sure has been a hell of a one and a half month since I last updated my blog! I don't think I would want to go through that again. Work or personal matters..it both sucks to the maximum.

These past few months I have learnt tremendously in Spade be it good or bad. Though I am wiser it did drained me physically and mentally so much that I actually started smoking again. Yeah..I know it takes two to tango...my will power has let me down again.

The streak of bad luck was like a never-ending marathon...my car wind screen got smashed, the painting I brought from Bali was gone together with some other treasured stuffs. Have to admit it was my carelessness that led to it. No use crying over spilled milk..I supposed...sigh.

As I approach my 42 years on earth, I think my luck is changing for the better. Suddenly, all things seems to be shining brightly again!! A little patience and endurance does work actually. Godsend perhaps...ah always never lose faith in HIM. "Whenever a door closed, another window open" Suddenly I feel lucky again and all I need to do is to keep being positive and not think about stupid things or let other stuffs drown me. Ignorance is bliss...so true. Mind matters: Think Not, Want Not, Ponder Not, Crazy Not.

My dear ones, Give me a choice....not just a choice between cheese and ham BUT the possibility to think for myself.

Keeping my fingers cross so tightly....the good luck will be here to stay for a long long time.

God Bless

The Spade-noid Warriors

The event that has everyone all excited came and went pretty quickly!! Yes, aha I am talking about the paintball outing we had last week at Sungei Buloh. It was sure a long awaited company trip...thanks to Lee Lian (new addition to Spade) for pushing the bosses hard to finally say yes!

MudTrekker, just about half an hour drive from PJ is sure a "sleepy hollow" town, full of drivers with their 10 ton lorries plying the dusty roads leading to the battle ground, Malay styled kampung houses occupying both sides of the small and narrow lane.

The games started at about 11.15am and ended at 1.00pm. Boy, was it hot!! Super hot!! It was just so marvellous and fantastic to be able to sweat at last..gosh, I have not been sweating since my grandpa's 80th birthday!! Ehehe...jokinglah!! Divided into 2 teams headed by both Liew and Anthony, all of us blasted our way through the muddy and dusty ground of MudTrekker!! The gun was rather heavy but I was surprised that it carry enormous of power...the pellet enable us to hit the target as far as 30m or so.....and believe me it does hurt if you get hit! The pellets are fast just like we see in real bullets...flying everywhere around us. I got hit by Lee Lian (shucks) !! Poor Yuki got shot 6 times...!!

We had 4 games all together...both team did not manage to get each other flag though. Good experience for all of us....we survived the game with lots of blue blacks (as big as 50 cent coin or bigger even) and bruises. Again here, have to take my hats off to the trainee Yit Mei...she just went all out..she was the "Braved Heart" of Anthony's team...:)

Me and Kopi Queen had the last laugh on the 4th and final game...it was close but not close enough...Llyod, you are terminated!

Good to have you around Pig Pig..that was a real surprise!

I would do it all over again anytime.....

http://www.mudtrekker.com/

I will remember you

I have nothing to offer you..but I hunger for your touch alone lonely time. And time goes by so slowly and time can do so much..are you still are mine. God speed your love to me...oh my god, doesn't it sound like "Unchained Melody"???

Sorry, I haven't been updating but it has been hell at work for me. Can't figure out what the hell is going on and what I am getting myself into? Simply..this world sucks. Another 3 hours more and it is going be another 11 September. 7 years ago and the yielding anger is still there. Whether it is for the terrorists of Osama Bin Laden or the American heroes who perished on that fateful day...leaving behind their loved ones to mourn for them forever. " Even though I walk to the valley of the shadows of death I fear no evil for you are with me...none of us will forget this day...and "We will remember you"

What has the world become? Everybody is dying...God damn it..Luciano Pavarotti died last week. Am not a great fan but there were tenors and then there was Pavorotti!! He sang in Malaysian soil...so thats how close we can get!! Can you feel him?

Me...Andrea Bocelli. I am truly your numero uno fan. Well..."somos novios" but hell its true my man especially when you sing "Les Feuilees Mortes"..you simply take my breath away.

Averdeci Senior Luciano.....

You had me at "Hello"

Past 2 months has been appaling for me be it it personal of at work. Did I bring it upon myself or was it the situation that forced me to become this way in the first place?

What have I learned from all these? Am I a better person from where I was two years ago? I don't know...I really don't know. At times when you think you are on top of everything it falls apart! People often quote "Whatever goes around comes around and whatever goes up must come down". Karma is a funny thing and I believe it is in existance so much so I am pretty sure I am experiencing it now.

I am really lost...to what my next step would be. Do I continue pursuing it or just learn to let go? Or by sitting here doing nothing will I lose you forever? For once, I learned that as a person we have to be honest and truthful with those who love us. Once it is gone, chances are we will never get it back. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways and this will where I am now. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in our lives.

He often say "When we have many kinds of troubles, we should be full of joy, because we know that these troubles test our faith, and give us patience"

Losing you was a great lesson learnt for me but it is too late. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I hurt you greatly..infact too deep for you to even forgive me. There is not a single day that goes by without me thinking about you. What I have now is just memories which I will carry around with me wherever I go. When will I be able to see you again, sit down over a cup of coffee, talk and laugh about the good times? I am hoping it will be soon but that is impossible I know.

LIFE IS AN ECHO. What we send out, we get it back. What we give, we receive. WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS, WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OURSELVES.

Workwise am I happy? Again the same answer. Often I asked myself this question too. Perhaps we should look at other people predicament rather than just focusing on our own. We are working under one roof anyway so maybe to give and take will be better than being at war with each other. Please enlighten me. "SUCCESS CAN BE MEASURED NOT ONLY IN ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IN LESSONS LEARNED, LIVES TOUCHED AND MOMENTS SHARED ALONG THE WAY"

The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us....my choice will be the latter.

Lets forgive and forget and move forward instead of backward.

God uses problems to PERFECT us.

Keep well Jasmine.

Some people are so dramatic and fake!!!

Ever come across people who are really annoying and irritating in whatever they do? Don't understand why I am trying to say? Well, let me enlighten you my fellow friends or whoever you are.

I would like to refer them as 'oxy morons' or 'attention seekers' to be more precise. Like "Drama Minggu Ini", they love to be involved in everything even if it doesn't concern them at all. They just like to be a part of every god damn thing!! They are so bloody busybody that out of nowhere you will see their head popping up in unwanted situation where the conversation has nothing to with them. They just barge in as if the world only revolve around them. Also, not forgetting to say they are FASTER THAN A BULLET TRAIN IN KEPOHCHENESS AND AS LOUD OR THE LOUDEST IN BROADCASTING THEMSELVES....A SPOT ABOVE CNN!!!These people just want to have the finest stuffs, they get jealous easily.....they think they are the best. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NUMERO UNO!!!!

Further more, they can't stand it if someone else have something that are better than theirs. They love to show off, they like to get sympathy when they are sick or for anything that matters. They are rude, they whine like hogs and have no sense of manners!!Tsk tsk tsk...get a life!!

Most of the times they try to act smart but they are not and normally it backfires! I feel sorry for them for being so ignorant...practically they make a fool out of themselves without ever noticing it and the sick thing is they think they are co cute!!! That is so pathetic...I rather be in the company of a wild boar! At least they are not phony!!God help them.

So if you want to be a faker...please take lessons and make sure you come out good and don't let me catch you with your stupidity...you double crosser!! For I am a greater prentender than you are!!

Oh...okay fine, run to mummy and cry now....shame of you!!

Are you one of them?

I Quit!

Fag, coffin nail, butt, gasper, cancer stick...whatever it is...I would rather call it "Killers that travel in packs"

Been smoking for awhile now. Did stopped for 2 years way back in the early 90s and due to influence of others picked it up again until that one fateful night of July 6 2007, I guess enough is enough..I officially quit smoking.

It has been a week now and I am feeling fine really though at times the

craving is terribly bad especially when work load is at maximum gear with all the unwanted stress going around.

In life I think we need to compensate and sacrifice certain things. For me I have decided to sever this relationship with the Marlboro Man after the only person who cared and loved me discarded me. You might say it is a way to redeem myself..sigh.

Yeah,of course when my friends smokes infront of me I will be tempted but I am good so far and shall be pretty please with myself if I can pull through. The only time I will be tested fully will be when I am drinking...alcohol I mean. Ciggys are the best compliment! No doubts I am struggling at times when I am depress and need a puff badly. So far I am in "cruise control".

Do I have the mental capacity to withstand nicotine?

Call me if you want to know....

Are you technically savvy for the 21st Century?

Handphones, Digital Cameras, IPods, MP3, you want em' go get em'. Only problem is which one..what brand..slim or flip, how user friendly are they and how much?

Sony Ericsson, Motorola, Nokia, LG, Samsung...the big boys just to name a few. When the 1st one ever came out in early 1990s (or is it not), the sole purpose was just to be able to make and receive calls. Fantastic invention in comparison to the much used pager then which was dominated locally by Electcoms Berhad in the from the early 80s. A first step towards modern technology.

Mobile phones and digital cameras continues to be one of the crowd pullers. Buying power is huge. We see them everywhere we go. The choices are immensely wide and awesome and at some point complicated. Gone are the days where a phone only function is just to "call". The 21st Century offers more than what we can bargain for...question is, can we keep up with them? From 3G to megapixel cameras to UGA cameras for video call to MP3 that can store thousands of songs, mobile internet and recently a phone with navigation, the Nokia 6110.

The 1st mobile phone was a very huge Motorola monster and a hit together with the car phone ATUR. Its function ability beside the normal calls also acts as a tool and protection! That chunk of thing is so sturdy that I won't be surprise it will be able to dent up your car or at least knock any of us out cold at a throw! Recently, we had the Siemens Blackberry, the French Government banned it for fear that the US might use the phone for spying and espionage purposes. Oh, I got to tell you this, one of my collegue at work is using a phone that is able to calculate the ladies monthly cycle and by doing that will be able to tell us whether we are pregnant of not!! Is that cool or what?

I have been toying with the idea of changing my handphone soon. Well, my Sony Ericsson and Panasonic has served me well but just to keep up with the trend. Yo the kakak selling nasi lemak near my office is using a Motorola Razor ZR god damn it!!! It is just a want really not need.

What I actually need more is a digital camera. Need to scout around for one with a good price. Nikon Cool Pix, Sony, or a Panasonic Lumix..choices, choices, choices...

I would really prefer a digital SLR..oh sure they are bulky but solid as a rock! Yeah digital SLR would be grand and superb...Canon, Olympus, Nikon or Pentax...decision, desicion, decision..sigh

I shudder to think what these gadgets will be able to do or be like 10 years away from now.

Beam me up Scottie....

Blossoming Jasmine

Jasmine or Mo Li Hua

1) a synonum for Jessomines also spelled Jasmin

2) a common name for other plants that have heavily fragnant flower

3) a treasured friend

There are hundreds species of Jasmine you could possibly find around us, also known as a tender and tropical shrubs and vines..ah, what a plant! And the sweetly and heavenly fragnant tea consumed by millions. For me Jasmine is not just a plant..Jasmine is more that that!

I only knew one Jasmine who is absolutely magnificient, caring and has a tremendously good heart..a wonderful soul. Well liked and loved all the way. Nothing will be able to replaced her in my heart. She blossomed and bloomed wonderfully the last time I saw her. Gone were the days she felt insecure and lost...now she has blossomed into a pretty and sweet flower full of confidence and full of goals. My admiration for her has always been there but I over stepped that special boundary. She was and still is a jewel in my heart.

Our journey ended last night 6 July 2007. I lost my Jasmine. Our path might never cross again but I hope she will at least have a little spot for me in a small corner of her petals.

"Bedewed the Jasmine bud awake

And felt life coursing through

Its petals caressed by balmy sunshine

Unfolding as if on cue

Nestled among the other flower

It shone like a jewel

It's fragrance truly a heady one

It was special, you could tell"

Thank you for the wonderful memories

You are irreplacable.

I will miss you, I shall miss you......always.

God Bless

The Chamber of Horrors

What is with all those horrror movies that has been hitting our shores these days?

Don't get me wrong my dear horror buffs out there. I am a horror fan myself but of late I think it is getting a bit ridiculous with all the horror stuffs bombarding the cinemas! Some of them are so lame, pure irritating and dumb!! So I understand that everyone is trying to make a fast buck from it but even so pleeeaaassee... at least come up with something that is watchable. A horror movie is supposed to make the audience feel scare but alas.. some of them actually are so freaking bad that you end up laughing!!

Back in th 1980s we had classic stuffs like Evil Dead, Firestarter, Swamp Thing, Children of The Corn, The Blob etc. Present day we are fed with all kinds of "slasher" movies like "I Know What You Did Last Summer", "Final Destination" a lots more. Some of them are pretty gory, full of blood and guts spilling out! There are still of course the genuine horror movie (based on true happenings) like "An American Haunting", "Exorcist" and "Omen 666"

Locally, we have some that is real good like "Jangan Pandang Belakang" and...?That's all I can think of...Pontianak Sundal Harum was alright and the latest "Waris Jaris Hantu"was a huge disappointment.

Credits to the Japanese and the Thais. They are a spot above us in many ways. Erm the Koreans are so so lah..better than the local one but really I think some of it are damn stupid and silly...imagine killer wig, killer phone! My god what will they think of next...killer thongs, bras or killer "pigs" hahaha such joy!!

Coming soon it's gonna be another one of them:"30 Days of Night". Oh..the British production "The Descent" was fabalous I thought. Must give credit when it's due.

But still...give me a break!

Let's be more hilarious here.....

Malaysians..bah!

Hello people! Boy, the weekend really sucks! Here I was stuck at home so I thought I will go out to the wet market at Section 17 and grab some fresh meat and vege. I was full of zest cos that was one of earliest time I woke up on a weekend...sigh. I know I know....it happens to you too huh. Well, what transpired in a mere 1 hour that morning left me fuming and cursing the whole bloody day!!

So I started my car, got it out from the 5th floor parking and headed towards the guard house only to realise that I left the tag at home. Waited for the guard to open the god damn thing so that I can go out...and guess what he stood there stared at me blindly for a few seconds and motioned me to wind down the window and rudely ask me..."mana mau pergi"? I was like huh..what the hell you are talking about? Of course I want to go outlah dumb fuck...stupid or what? (I didn't say that to him) so I politely replied...

Me : "saya mau keluar tapi tag dekat rumah"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

Me : "mau keluarlah...tag tak ada, boleh kasi nak itu tiang"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

By then my temper was really up to my head. Making it worst the car behind me was honking like fuck shit! Bloody man and his dumb wife! And so I got down from the car, went over to the dumb guard and said...

Me : "oui bang, boleh buka itu tiang, saya punya tag dekat atas"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

I think by then the other guard on duty knew that I was pissed and he apologised and duly open the tiang. The spastic could have apologise and told me what his problems was but he didn't. The words from my mouth was filthier than the rubbish dump. How could they possibly employ somewhat like that?? Guard you know..guard that is suppose to protect us!!#$*&%^>.

Ok so I was finally on my way after 15 minutes. Then came the 2nd part. As I was waiting to turn out to the main road out came this blue Datsun 120Y from nowhere, jumped que and cut in with no signal or anything. I was once again tested...and saying to myself loudly..."lu punya bapak punya jalan ar pundek"! Fine...nothing much I could do except honk. Moving on to LDP
driving on the outer lane...as always infront of me a nice sedan car neither on the left nor right driving as if their car is the only car on the highway! I flashed, I honked, I raised my hands all sorts..they didn't move at all. Blast them(just two people) so i accelerated past them stared at them and guess what...it was two middle aged ladies (like those "tai-tai" typelah) talking, laughing without giving a hoot who was behind them! After half an hour on the road I wanted to turn back and head home.

Reached the market, couldn't find a parking, waited for few minutes, saw a car wanted to come out and straightaway put up my indicator...I bet you all out there can figure out what happened next...sigh

What is wrong with Malaysians out there? There have no bloody manners and etiquette at all, be anywhere, in restaurant eating with the mouth open widely and chowing their food nosily and greedily like hogs upon realease from the den! Not queing up...excuse are they are in a hurry. Well ma'am so am i and the rest of the 4.5 million damn you! The aunties are the worst...they just pretend they don't hear you or they don't know. Jesus, I hope my aunties and those aunties I know are not one of them!!

Ha...during festive season when the ministers have their "Open House" I can guarantee you will see the worst side of them. All ready with their tupperwares and containers ready to pack home!! Tsk tsk tsk...hello tak pernah makan ke, tak pergi sekolahke...mak tak ajar bersopan santunnya!!

And that is just a mere half of it, not fogetting those at the service counters all across the country that are not smiling, not being polite, never say thank you when it is necessary

Cruising for bruising idiots.

I am totally mortified by them...

Denpasar : Mountains, Sea, Lakes, Temples...

On my way up to heaven

Starbuck in Bali

The hills and the lake are alive..

Where the shore of Bali & Indian Ocean collides

Glorious sunset at Kuta Beach

A minute later...

Blue skies, seawater, temple and snakes ahoy!

Ever seen anything so sublime?

Pure bliss...

Would be perfect without the hose running across...sigh

For the Gods

Sideway souvenirs stalls

Tatoos, sarongs, T-shirts, slippers & more

Downtown beach haven for the surfers

All quiet....no tsunami threat...

Poolside, Bali Hai Resort...

Traditional Barong Dance at Catur Eka Budhi Kesiman

Lobby, Bali Hai Resort

Me and him at Kinta Mani Volcanic Mountain Site

No more him...just me


There you go....all I have on Bali. Some of the pictures was accidentally deleted from the camera...bollocks!

Could have taken more but the god damn tour guide kept on chasing us to get on the van and impatiently reminded us that there are a few more places to go. Oh...there were only 4 of us in the van. "Kentut"..aha..that's the name of the guide and the driver..can't remember what's his name but he was a really sweet fella. He ran over a chicken in Ubud!! So throughout the fews day you call hear us calling "tut" everywhere we go...

Food in Bali is good...."Babi Guling" was so so..our roast pig much tastier. Not much of beef served as it is a Hindu state.

The rest are all in normal prints. Come to think of it, I could have taken more than 10 rolls just for a 4 days 3 nights stay and it bloody blew a huge hole in my wallet developing them.

Why not use digital camera? Hmm...it broke down on me halfway. All these gadgets..they are either breaking up for no apparent reason, the cap to the batteries holder not tight enough, memory exceededlah....absolutely nonsense!

Call me old fashion or whatever, films still the best..yeah it might turn colour few years later but heck then just take it as a sepia tone or special effect pictures. Now that's cool...no?

Are you in love with Bali yet? So waiting for what...Air Aisa is cheap man!

About me..so far

It is 8.00pm now...raining terribly outside and I am sitting infront of my computer now thinking of what happened today. Oh..what happened?

Currently attached to an advertising company...wondering whether am I in a wrong place, wrong line etc? By nature I am a very hot temper person. The hottest in town if not Kelana Square! Sure...I make decision on impulse without thinking about the consequences. The after effect of that sometimes will takes its toll on me where the regrets will seep in.

In October, I will reach a certain age that perhaps I am not wanted anymore. And I am definitely feeling the pressure. Nah...I am not that old really. No luck in relationship yet....is it just me or is everything shit? Yeah..still waiting for the right one but when..only the almighty know. Gosh...when? On my gold anniversary?

Born and raised locally...can't really remember about my childhood days. I was told that I was not a very pleasant child. I was always crying for some reason or so. Hmmm...perhaps that is where the coldness in me came from.

My grandma took care of me when I was a kid. Stayed with them for awhile. Had 3 uncles and 3 aunties then in the whole house. Back then my uncles will be watching football all night long. Oh..they are Liverpool supporters...shucks. As I grow older I was hooked and now an ardent fan of the Red Devils. League Champion....too bad Gerard!!! Old Trafford rocks....Anfield rock bottom ha ha.

I am a loner by nature. Love to be by myself at certain times to do my own stuffs, reading, listening to music, writing and taking pictures along the way. My tendency to become angry has in some ways cost me a few very close friends indeed. Easily short fused and irritable as it comes but also easlity calm as and when it is over. I could be a bitch at times but I can also be someone "bestest" friend. Often I am misunderstood and misinterpreted...that's life. The problem with me is sometimes I think I am too lenient to others and thus this create another predicament for me...I can't seems to say "No"!! I hate to be pushed to the extreme and be accused...because I will kill you!

Given another chance in life all over again I would definitely want to be a war photographer, secondly, a fantastic cook and a tasteful food connoisseur...an expert, especially on the fine arts of taste. That will be grand! Food..the first enjoyment of life.

Ho ho ho.....have a good weekend babes!!

Bali: The beautiful old parchment in which the sun and the moon keep their diary..

Travelling...an experience we shall always remember, or an experience which, alas, we shall never forget.

Be it anywhere, travelling is the best way to see the world. Either you do it the luxurious way or the affordable way...even back packing ain't that bad you know if you have the right companies.

Ah, voyaging, globe-trotting, sight-seeing...whatever we call it..it is one of the favourite hobby amongst millions of people. There are bound to be 1 at least in the family who travels extensively. I used to be one of them. Due to work commitments and expensive airfares travelling has taken a back seat this past years or so.

My last trip was to Bali way back in January. I never like the Indonesian here but I was totally charmed by them in their own country and overwhelmed by their politeness. Every corner I went I was called “Ibu”. Damn…do I look that old???. No really…that is the Indonesian way of addressing the ladies. The men will be called “Bapak”. Cool ain’t it..unlike some of our fellow country men whom has this tendency of bellowing to each other “Engkau” “Aku” “Kau"!!

Denpasar, capital city of Bali is full of zest. The moment you set foot at the Ngura Rai Airport you could just smell the different scent.

Arriving at Bali Hai Resort was a welcoming and refreshing sight after a tired day…couldn’t see much of Denpasar then as it was rather late after dinner. Headed straight to the shower and started drinking at the balcony. I could feel the wonderful breeze and most exciting of all I can smell the sea or Davy Jones’s locker…the ocean “A highway between the doorways of the nations” Franklin Lane once quoted. Gosh…I can’t wait for morning to come to catch the glittering sunrise and the hopefully never ending sunset!

Balinese are religious lot….they pray on time and on most roads there are offerings for the Gods. Sweet smelling incense and flowers scattered around. We were advised not to step on any of them as it is sacred. The Balinese considered the Hindu Gods the almighty and thus the utmost devotion. Statues are everywhere and they are a sight to behold. With over 20,000 temples and palaces in stunning location where you can encounter people whose mystical ways are enriched by a gentle and gracious culture, Bali is the “Morning of The World” no doubt.

From Tanah Lot for the Royal Taman Ayun Temple built in the 16th century, Bali is so picturesque that you could be fooled in to thinking that it was a painted backdrop: rice paddies trip down hill sides like great steps, volcanoes soar through the clouds and beaches lapped by the warm water of the Indian Ocean.

Wow...Bali is "A fool's paradise in waiting... "

Flowers And Gardens: "The Sweetest Thing God Ever Made And Forgot To Put A Soul Into"

Flowers: Heaven's Master Piece. That I will definitely vouch for it. From the blazing sunflower, elegant orchid, dotting daisy and the sweet smelling roses it is one of God's greatest creation on earth.

There are more than 1000 species of flowers than can be found around the world. And each and everyone of them represent different smell and meaning. Fresh and I was in love with the roses in my younger days and of late I am very smittened by the Dutch national flower, Tulips.

Honeysuckle, Queens Anne's lace, Lily of the Valley....uncountables! Which are your favourites? Can't make up your mind....it's hard to wonder why. Flowers...hmmm the ladies love it. I love it when I receive flowers. Best gift ever for a woman. My mum, she grows orchids..it is her first love. I remember when we were younger in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, mum grew lots of orchids and other flowers and she dedicated most of her free time dotting on her passion. For mum it was the purest of human pleasure attending to her beloved flowers in her garden. Be it a vegetable or flower garden it makes no difference.

My late grandma loved chrysanthemum especially the white and yellow ones. Being a staunch Buddhist, she will never fail to have freshly bought chrysanthemums on the altar for any of the Chinese festival....same goes for my mum, aunties...the elderlylah.

Gardens...plenty of them in Malaysia but alas these so called gardens are not very well kept unlike those in foreign countries especially those with 4 seasons. Here...don't even bother going. Grasses are not cut, not much to see in term of flowers selection...always just the Bunga Raya. Ya ya ya I know...it is our national flower...ar so? Worst...our gardens you will get to see plenty of rubbish strewn everywhere....hey that is not part of the scenery you know! So why bother going in the first place....our weather is so damn freaking hot! No winter, spring, autumn.....

The last time I saw a real pretty garden was in Den Haag, Holland and being the recent one was in Beijing, China. There were all types of flowers here, there and everywhere.....the whole garden itself was just beautiful and out of sight! It is fantastically breathtaking and picturesque! I would die for it everyday. Also it is "the best place to seek God....you can dig for Him there". You don't see no rubbish anywhere, grass are finely cut and I swear the place smell so good you know...hmm unlike back here. Take heart people..

Luxury is seen everyday in my garden of eternal bliss....

Confidence, Courage, Faith....

All about mental toughness, faith: of backbone, spine and nerve. When do we actually need all the three....?

As and when we require them I supposed. But often when it is needed it seems to desert us...or do we choose not to have them ourselves? Ask anyone and I believe they will tell you at times when we are down to our lowest grip and point on life we loses all of them at one go!

I give you an example. Last year around this time of the year my dad as taken ill..seriously ill. He has lung cancer and he was suffering alot. I was attached to one of the ad agency in PJ. The lady boss was worst than the one in "Devil Wears Prada" and I was terrified of her. My confidence, self worth and "gunghoness" were in utter tatters! Whatever I did there was absolutely wrong, not up to her requirements etc. Worst to come...my dad was pulling away further from all of us. I walked out of the job and for the next 2 months I was at my lowest in everything around me. I could not find a job after dozens of interviews, my bank account was drying up and my father was dying.

When my father died that was it for me. I went into seclusion. Not wanting to see or have anything to do with anyone. I lost my confidence, courage and belief in whatever I believed in. I believed in GOD but in the end he took my dad away no matter how much I prayed for him.

In life, we need to have confidence, courage and belief otherwise we will end up being a nobody. We need confidence to carry us up in our daily life(yes even for a good presentation!) We need courage to make certain decisions that perhaps one day will change the course of our life. We need to belief in something in order for us to achieve our goals. We need to belief in ourselves and even in relationship. Trust within each other.

That is what our backbone, spine and nerve are for.......

Moody Blues

Another new work day....surrounded by millions of people but I am still alive after God forgot to turn off his tap during the weekend.

What do all of us have in common? Every god damn thing....stress, bills to pay off, love-hate-relationships and gossips. Gossips is everywhere. It is in the office, in the eatery, over the phone while you are driving or even at home. The next time you go for lunch look around you, hold your tongue and listen carefully. Tete-a tete about work, the bosses, boyfriends and colleagues and currently poor Paris Hilton and perhaps that English chap, Lewis Hamilton. Look who is flying now? Ain't no "Flyin Finn"......look ma it's the "Flyin Brit"!! What has he got that Kimi don't? Figure it out dudes!

And they say gossiping is healthy...sigh

Summer of June

Hot air of summer is here....not that we have any choices to choose from really. How pathetic......its super freaking hot in the day and it then one minute it will be pouring cats and dogs!!

Thank God its Friday you were saying...bullshit! Today was not a normal Friday! We had to do a God damn presentation internally in the office! Because of that the last few days were hell...preparations, memorising words, facial expressions....oh so bitch time consuming.

It turned well seriously...I mean seeing the girls presenting for the first time. Alexia was good and had this twang and slang on her. Wan Lee...our new copywriter was cool from the start...no preparation at all. Me...hmmm no comments! The moment James started "tink tink tink" I was side tracked!! Thank you!

Audrey, the Creative Head..have to take my hats for her! She came in with a full power point presentation. Nico...good try without referring to her notes. The trainee Yit Mei...fu-yoh yoh....multiples salutes to her! No preparations at all! I mean here we were for the past few days prancing around like chickens without heads....she was like a pro!! With her smattering English where climbing mountains became "crambing mountains" gosh...it's hard not to laugh especially when you have Alexia sitting next to you! Then came the singing part...."Astro Talent Search"... I am sorry, bloody sorry but I just cant control myself....shut up I am trying not to laugh! She can goyang some more...and I think she was struggling with the high notes! Oh...i think it was something from NKTOB!!(David told me). The wonderful thing is while doing that she did not even bat a single eyelid of hers! Screw all your laughing man. Definitely an eye opener!! Well done Yit Mei!!

David, though abit lengthy but was able to talk about his passion. Kelly aka Ms Chen..she will be be a "Superstar" one day. Cant wait to hear here sing to us. Lastly, Kopi Queen Yuki...thunderous applause for her!

Good job people...I love you guys! I only wish PohYe was around....that will be absolutely fun!!

Well...an eventful Friday. Oh yes...and the bosses recorded the entire presentation...sigh.

isshh...just saw my own presentation on video...I was standing senget bengetlah...damn