Merry Be-Early Christmas, my friends.

Ho ho ho....a week more to the most anticipated time of the year. Is it going to be a "White Christmas" or a "Blue Christmas"?

How many of you actually have cleared your shopping list or are you one of those who love to do last minute shopping at bargain price?? Surprisingly, I have done mine pretty early this year...better to get it done before the dough runs out. Plenty on the list but then again I ain't Santa Claus, I am not here to play Jesus and I am not in such a 'giving' mood this 2007. So I have decided I will only give to those that deserve it. Let me see...I can count it within my ten fingers.

I think I should be heading for Christmas Mass on the eve (oh..I forgot, I have a Christmas party to attend!!!). It has been months since I last stepped into church and chatted with God. Probably need to sing Amazing Grace to save a wretch like me, hear the angels sing and look at the stars beneath my feet.

As we approach the new year, I am wondering whether it is possible for myself to find a quiet destination, away from the hustle and bustle of life and for once re-assess myself as a normal being...find time to read a book, buy a newspaper, take time to smell the rose or just merely pick up those old records and play it on the turntable. I would call that "A reflection of my life". I am surrounded by millions of people but I am still alive. Aren't we all grateful?

For me, it's standing in line. I absolutely hate to "waste time"; I live my life at a frenetic pace and don't want anything to get in my way of doing all I have to get done in a day. Until recently, I was the person in the line huffing and rolling my eyes at the wait, jiggling and looking at my watch every few seconds. And when I finally made it to the counter, I was too aggravated from having to wait to be pleasant to the person on the other side of the counter. But since life is full of line, I finally decided to change my approach. Instead of being annoyed, I decided to see waiting in line as a wonderful opportunity to slow down, take a few conscious breaths. No doubts the wait was long as ever - but I am grateful for the chance to stop.

Christmas is a wonderful time for each and everyone of us to forgive and give thanks to what we have now. Thanksgiving day is a good beginning to be with the family...hmmm "What if' the whole family were together at Thanksgiving and the turkey exploded?" That will be grand..at least there is something to talk about for years to come..*grins*

Remember rights that I did wrong. I am not calling for a second chance..I am screaming at the top of my voice, give me a reason but don't give me choice coz I just make the same mistake again. And maybe someday we will meet and maybe talk and not just speak, don't buy the promises cos there are no promises I keep and my reflection troubles me.

2008 will definitely be a better year for me. I am determined not to sink into bitterness of what has happened in 2007. While there are plenty of things in life to be justifiably annoyed (like the idiot $@#%^&*%^) angry, or hurt at, that doesn't mean that I should completely ignore the beautiful, good and touching people around me. I seriously want my soul to shine with an overflowing of love.

The world is suddenly transformed into a beautiful wonderland this Christmas, in which we are all invited to play.

Joy to the world, Joy to you and me.

It will be the "Brightest Christmas" in my eyes.

Have a blessed and memorable Yuletide everyone!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

20 October 2007

My birthday came and went without much fanfare really. Just had a normal dinner with work mates and then proceeded to what we called "clubbing"!! Went to Rain at Mont Kiara and it turned out to be a terribly bad choice!!! For a friday night it was a real let down....it was pathetic, no crowd at all and the music was super lousy!! Luckily there were pool tables so we had to channel our boredom to that...sigh

That was not my real concern anyway...I have friends wishing me BUT the person or persons I was waiting for to either sms or at least call me never materilised. I had expected it but then some where inside me I was still hoping for something. This is my most down and sad birthday I have ever went through for the past few years. Oh...both my favourite aunties as well as sisters were the very first people to wished me so I was happy for that moment. Jessica and Shebear gave me two very lovely T-shirts...and I loved it!! Muaks muaks...

I supposed I should'nt expect so much huh...knowing the current situation. So at least the answer is very obvious now..."the river of no return". I will wait no matter what....months, years..what else can I do.

I think of you each and every day and I miss you almost every minute of the day.

Memories of you will be with me forever....just like a tattoo I will always have you with me.

Auf Wiedersehen for now.....

The Leaf Has Overturned

It sure has been a hell of a one and a half month since I last updated my blog! I don't think I would want to go through that again. Work or personal matters..it both sucks to the maximum.

These past few months I have learnt tremendously in Spade be it good or bad. Though I am wiser it did drained me physically and mentally so much that I actually started smoking again. Yeah..I know it takes two to tango...my will power has let me down again.

The streak of bad luck was like a never-ending marathon...my car wind screen got smashed, the painting I brought from Bali was gone together with some other treasured stuffs. Have to admit it was my carelessness that led to it. No use crying over spilled milk..I supposed...sigh.

As I approach my 42 years on earth, I think my luck is changing for the better. Suddenly, all things seems to be shining brightly again!! A little patience and endurance does work actually. Godsend perhaps...ah always never lose faith in HIM. "Whenever a door closed, another window open" Suddenly I feel lucky again and all I need to do is to keep being positive and not think about stupid things or let other stuffs drown me. Ignorance is bliss...so true. Mind matters: Think Not, Want Not, Ponder Not, Crazy Not.

My dear ones, Give me a choice....not just a choice between cheese and ham BUT the possibility to think for myself.

Keeping my fingers cross so tightly....the good luck will be here to stay for a long long time.

God Bless

The Spade-noid Warriors

The event that has everyone all excited came and went pretty quickly!! Yes, aha I am talking about the paintball outing we had last week at Sungei Buloh. It was sure a long awaited company trip...thanks to Lee Lian (new addition to Spade) for pushing the bosses hard to finally say yes!

MudTrekker, just about half an hour drive from PJ is sure a "sleepy hollow" town, full of drivers with their 10 ton lorries plying the dusty roads leading to the battle ground, Malay styled kampung houses occupying both sides of the small and narrow lane.

The games started at about 11.15am and ended at 1.00pm. Boy, was it hot!! Super hot!! It was just so marvellous and fantastic to be able to sweat at last..gosh, I have not been sweating since my grandpa's 80th birthday!! Ehehe...jokinglah!! Divided into 2 teams headed by both Liew and Anthony, all of us blasted our way through the muddy and dusty ground of MudTrekker!! The gun was rather heavy but I was surprised that it carry enormous of power...the pellet enable us to hit the target as far as 30m or so.....and believe me it does hurt if you get hit! The pellets are fast just like we see in real bullets...flying everywhere around us. I got hit by Lee Lian (shucks) !! Poor Yuki got shot 6 times...!!

We had 4 games all together...both team did not manage to get each other flag though. Good experience for all of us....we survived the game with lots of blue blacks (as big as 50 cent coin or bigger even) and bruises. Again here, have to take my hats off to the trainee Yit Mei...she just went all out..she was the "Braved Heart" of Anthony's team...:)

Me and Kopi Queen had the last laugh on the 4th and final game...it was close but not close enough...Llyod, you are terminated!

Good to have you around Pig Pig..that was a real surprise!

I would do it all over again anytime.....

http://www.mudtrekker.com/

I will remember you

I have nothing to offer you..but I hunger for your touch alone lonely time. And time goes by so slowly and time can do so much..are you still are mine. God speed your love to me...oh my god, doesn't it sound like "Unchained Melody"???

Sorry, I haven't been updating but it has been hell at work for me. Can't figure out what the hell is going on and what I am getting myself into? Simply..this world sucks. Another 3 hours more and it is going be another 11 September. 7 years ago and the yielding anger is still there. Whether it is for the terrorists of Osama Bin Laden or the American heroes who perished on that fateful day...leaving behind their loved ones to mourn for them forever. " Even though I walk to the valley of the shadows of death I fear no evil for you are with me...none of us will forget this day...and "We will remember you"

What has the world become? Everybody is dying...God damn it..Luciano Pavarotti died last week. Am not a great fan but there were tenors and then there was Pavorotti!! He sang in Malaysian soil...so thats how close we can get!! Can you feel him?

Me...Andrea Bocelli. I am truly your numero uno fan. Well..."somos novios" but hell its true my man especially when you sing "Les Feuilees Mortes"..you simply take my breath away.

Averdeci Senior Luciano.....

You had me at "Hello"

Past 2 months has been appaling for me be it it personal of at work. Did I bring it upon myself or was it the situation that forced me to become this way in the first place?

What have I learned from all these? Am I a better person from where I was two years ago? I don't know...I really don't know. At times when you think you are on top of everything it falls apart! People often quote "Whatever goes around comes around and whatever goes up must come down". Karma is a funny thing and I believe it is in existance so much so I am pretty sure I am experiencing it now.

I am really lost...to what my next step would be. Do I continue pursuing it or just learn to let go? Or by sitting here doing nothing will I lose you forever? For once, I learned that as a person we have to be honest and truthful with those who love us. Once it is gone, chances are we will never get it back. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways and this will where I am now. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in our lives.

He often say "When we have many kinds of troubles, we should be full of joy, because we know that these troubles test our faith, and give us patience"

Losing you was a great lesson learnt for me but it is too late. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I hurt you greatly..infact too deep for you to even forgive me. There is not a single day that goes by without me thinking about you. What I have now is just memories which I will carry around with me wherever I go. When will I be able to see you again, sit down over a cup of coffee, talk and laugh about the good times? I am hoping it will be soon but that is impossible I know.

LIFE IS AN ECHO. What we send out, we get it back. What we give, we receive. WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS, WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OURSELVES.

Workwise am I happy? Again the same answer. Often I asked myself this question too. Perhaps we should look at other people predicament rather than just focusing on our own. We are working under one roof anyway so maybe to give and take will be better than being at war with each other. Please enlighten me. "SUCCESS CAN BE MEASURED NOT ONLY IN ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IN LESSONS LEARNED, LIVES TOUCHED AND MOMENTS SHARED ALONG THE WAY"

The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us....my choice will be the latter.

Lets forgive and forget and move forward instead of backward.

God uses problems to PERFECT us.

Keep well Jasmine.

Some people are so dramatic and fake!!!

Ever come across people who are really annoying and irritating in whatever they do? Don't understand why I am trying to say? Well, let me enlighten you my fellow friends or whoever you are.

I would like to refer them as 'oxy morons' or 'attention seekers' to be more precise. Like "Drama Minggu Ini", they love to be involved in everything even if it doesn't concern them at all. They just like to be a part of every god damn thing!! They are so bloody busybody that out of nowhere you will see their head popping up in unwanted situation where the conversation has nothing to with them. They just barge in as if the world only revolve around them. Also, not forgetting to say they are FASTER THAN A BULLET TRAIN IN KEPOHCHENESS AND AS LOUD OR THE LOUDEST IN BROADCASTING THEMSELVES....A SPOT ABOVE CNN!!!These people just want to have the finest stuffs, they get jealous easily.....they think they are the best. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NUMERO UNO!!!!

Further more, they can't stand it if someone else have something that are better than theirs. They love to show off, they like to get sympathy when they are sick or for anything that matters. They are rude, they whine like hogs and have no sense of manners!!Tsk tsk tsk...get a life!!

Most of the times they try to act smart but they are not and normally it backfires! I feel sorry for them for being so ignorant...practically they make a fool out of themselves without ever noticing it and the sick thing is they think they are co cute!!! That is so pathetic...I rather be in the company of a wild boar! At least they are not phony!!God help them.

So if you want to be a faker...please take lessons and make sure you come out good and don't let me catch you with your stupidity...you double crosser!! For I am a greater prentender than you are!!

Oh...okay fine, run to mummy and cry now....shame of you!!

Are you one of them?