You had me at "Hello"

Past 2 months has been appaling for me be it it personal of at work. Did I bring it upon myself or was it the situation that forced me to become this way in the first place?

What have I learned from all these? Am I a better person from where I was two years ago? I don't know...I really don't know. At times when you think you are on top of everything it falls apart! People often quote "Whatever goes around comes around and whatever goes up must come down". Karma is a funny thing and I believe it is in existance so much so I am pretty sure I am experiencing it now.

I am really lost...to what my next step would be. Do I continue pursuing it or just learn to let go? Or by sitting here doing nothing will I lose you forever? For once, I learned that as a person we have to be honest and truthful with those who love us. Once it is gone, chances are we will never get it back. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways and this will where I am now. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in our lives.

He often say "When we have many kinds of troubles, we should be full of joy, because we know that these troubles test our faith, and give us patience"

Losing you was a great lesson learnt for me but it is too late. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I hurt you greatly..infact too deep for you to even forgive me. There is not a single day that goes by without me thinking about you. What I have now is just memories which I will carry around with me wherever I go. When will I be able to see you again, sit down over a cup of coffee, talk and laugh about the good times? I am hoping it will be soon but that is impossible I know.

LIFE IS AN ECHO. What we send out, we get it back. What we give, we receive. WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS, WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OURSELVES.

Workwise am I happy? Again the same answer. Often I asked myself this question too. Perhaps we should look at other people predicament rather than just focusing on our own. We are working under one roof anyway so maybe to give and take will be better than being at war with each other. Please enlighten me. "SUCCESS CAN BE MEASURED NOT ONLY IN ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IN LESSONS LEARNED, LIVES TOUCHED AND MOMENTS SHARED ALONG THE WAY"

The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us....my choice will be the latter.

Lets forgive and forget and move forward instead of backward.

God uses problems to PERFECT us.

Keep well Jasmine.

Some people are so dramatic and fake!!!

Ever come across people who are really annoying and irritating in whatever they do? Don't understand why I am trying to say? Well, let me enlighten you my fellow friends or whoever you are.

I would like to refer them as 'oxy morons' or 'attention seekers' to be more precise. Like "Drama Minggu Ini", they love to be involved in everything even if it doesn't concern them at all. They just like to be a part of every god damn thing!! They are so bloody busybody that out of nowhere you will see their head popping up in unwanted situation where the conversation has nothing to with them. They just barge in as if the world only revolve around them. Also, not forgetting to say they are FASTER THAN A BULLET TRAIN IN KEPOHCHENESS AND AS LOUD OR THE LOUDEST IN BROADCASTING THEMSELVES....A SPOT ABOVE CNN!!!These people just want to have the finest stuffs, they get jealous easily.....they think they are the best. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NUMERO UNO!!!!

Further more, they can't stand it if someone else have something that are better than theirs. They love to show off, they like to get sympathy when they are sick or for anything that matters. They are rude, they whine like hogs and have no sense of manners!!Tsk tsk tsk...get a life!!

Most of the times they try to act smart but they are not and normally it backfires! I feel sorry for them for being so ignorant...practically they make a fool out of themselves without ever noticing it and the sick thing is they think they are co cute!!! That is so pathetic...I rather be in the company of a wild boar! At least they are not phony!!God help them.

So if you want to be a faker...please take lessons and make sure you come out good and don't let me catch you with your stupidity...you double crosser!! For I am a greater prentender than you are!!

Oh...okay fine, run to mummy and cry now....shame of you!!

Are you one of them?

I Quit!

Fag, coffin nail, butt, gasper, cancer stick...whatever it is...I would rather call it "Killers that travel in packs"

Been smoking for awhile now. Did stopped for 2 years way back in the early 90s and due to influence of others picked it up again until that one fateful night of July 6 2007, I guess enough is enough..I officially quit smoking.

It has been a week now and I am feeling fine really though at times the

craving is terribly bad especially when work load is at maximum gear with all the unwanted stress going around.

In life I think we need to compensate and sacrifice certain things. For me I have decided to sever this relationship with the Marlboro Man after the only person who cared and loved me discarded me. You might say it is a way to redeem myself..sigh.

Yeah,of course when my friends smokes infront of me I will be tempted but I am good so far and shall be pretty please with myself if I can pull through. The only time I will be tested fully will be when I am drinking...alcohol I mean. Ciggys are the best compliment! No doubts I am struggling at times when I am depress and need a puff badly. So far I am in "cruise control".

Do I have the mental capacity to withstand nicotine?

Call me if you want to know....

Are you technically savvy for the 21st Century?

Handphones, Digital Cameras, IPods, MP3, you want em' go get em'. Only problem is which one..what brand..slim or flip, how user friendly are they and how much?

Sony Ericsson, Motorola, Nokia, LG, Samsung...the big boys just to name a few. When the 1st one ever came out in early 1990s (or is it not), the sole purpose was just to be able to make and receive calls. Fantastic invention in comparison to the much used pager then which was dominated locally by Electcoms Berhad in the from the early 80s. A first step towards modern technology.

Mobile phones and digital cameras continues to be one of the crowd pullers. Buying power is huge. We see them everywhere we go. The choices are immensely wide and awesome and at some point complicated. Gone are the days where a phone only function is just to "call". The 21st Century offers more than what we can bargain for...question is, can we keep up with them? From 3G to megapixel cameras to UGA cameras for video call to MP3 that can store thousands of songs, mobile internet and recently a phone with navigation, the Nokia 6110.

The 1st mobile phone was a very huge Motorola monster and a hit together with the car phone ATUR. Its function ability beside the normal calls also acts as a tool and protection! That chunk of thing is so sturdy that I won't be surprise it will be able to dent up your car or at least knock any of us out cold at a throw! Recently, we had the Siemens Blackberry, the French Government banned it for fear that the US might use the phone for spying and espionage purposes. Oh, I got to tell you this, one of my collegue at work is using a phone that is able to calculate the ladies monthly cycle and by doing that will be able to tell us whether we are pregnant of not!! Is that cool or what?

I have been toying with the idea of changing my handphone soon. Well, my Sony Ericsson and Panasonic has served me well but just to keep up with the trend. Yo the kakak selling nasi lemak near my office is using a Motorola Razor ZR god damn it!!! It is just a want really not need.

What I actually need more is a digital camera. Need to scout around for one with a good price. Nikon Cool Pix, Sony, or a Panasonic Lumix..choices, choices, choices...

I would really prefer a digital SLR..oh sure they are bulky but solid as a rock! Yeah digital SLR would be grand and superb...Canon, Olympus, Nikon or Pentax...decision, desicion, decision..sigh

I shudder to think what these gadgets will be able to do or be like 10 years away from now.

Beam me up Scottie....

Blossoming Jasmine

Jasmine or Mo Li Hua

1) a synonum for Jessomines also spelled Jasmin

2) a common name for other plants that have heavily fragnant flower

3) a treasured friend

There are hundreds species of Jasmine you could possibly find around us, also known as a tender and tropical shrubs and vines..ah, what a plant! And the sweetly and heavenly fragnant tea consumed by millions. For me Jasmine is not just a plant..Jasmine is more that that!

I only knew one Jasmine who is absolutely magnificient, caring and has a tremendously good heart..a wonderful soul. Well liked and loved all the way. Nothing will be able to replaced her in my heart. She blossomed and bloomed wonderfully the last time I saw her. Gone were the days she felt insecure and lost...now she has blossomed into a pretty and sweet flower full of confidence and full of goals. My admiration for her has always been there but I over stepped that special boundary. She was and still is a jewel in my heart.

Our journey ended last night 6 July 2007. I lost my Jasmine. Our path might never cross again but I hope she will at least have a little spot for me in a small corner of her petals.

"Bedewed the Jasmine bud awake

And felt life coursing through

Its petals caressed by balmy sunshine

Unfolding as if on cue

Nestled among the other flower

It shone like a jewel

It's fragrance truly a heady one

It was special, you could tell"

Thank you for the wonderful memories

You are irreplacable.

I will miss you, I shall miss you......always.

God Bless

The Chamber of Horrors

What is with all those horrror movies that has been hitting our shores these days?

Don't get me wrong my dear horror buffs out there. I am a horror fan myself but of late I think it is getting a bit ridiculous with all the horror stuffs bombarding the cinemas! Some of them are so lame, pure irritating and dumb!! So I understand that everyone is trying to make a fast buck from it but even so pleeeaaassee... at least come up with something that is watchable. A horror movie is supposed to make the audience feel scare but alas.. some of them actually are so freaking bad that you end up laughing!!

Back in th 1980s we had classic stuffs like Evil Dead, Firestarter, Swamp Thing, Children of The Corn, The Blob etc. Present day we are fed with all kinds of "slasher" movies like "I Know What You Did Last Summer", "Final Destination" a lots more. Some of them are pretty gory, full of blood and guts spilling out! There are still of course the genuine horror movie (based on true happenings) like "An American Haunting", "Exorcist" and "Omen 666"

Locally, we have some that is real good like "Jangan Pandang Belakang" and...?That's all I can think of...Pontianak Sundal Harum was alright and the latest "Waris Jaris Hantu"was a huge disappointment.

Credits to the Japanese and the Thais. They are a spot above us in many ways. Erm the Koreans are so so lah..better than the local one but really I think some of it are damn stupid and silly...imagine killer wig, killer phone! My god what will they think of next...killer thongs, bras or killer "pigs" hahaha such joy!!

Coming soon it's gonna be another one of them:"30 Days of Night". Oh..the British production "The Descent" was fabalous I thought. Must give credit when it's due.

But still...give me a break!

Let's be more hilarious here.....

Malaysians..bah!

Hello people! Boy, the weekend really sucks! Here I was stuck at home so I thought I will go out to the wet market at Section 17 and grab some fresh meat and vege. I was full of zest cos that was one of earliest time I woke up on a weekend...sigh. I know I know....it happens to you too huh. Well, what transpired in a mere 1 hour that morning left me fuming and cursing the whole bloody day!!

So I started my car, got it out from the 5th floor parking and headed towards the guard house only to realise that I left the tag at home. Waited for the guard to open the god damn thing so that I can go out...and guess what he stood there stared at me blindly for a few seconds and motioned me to wind down the window and rudely ask me..."mana mau pergi"? I was like huh..what the hell you are talking about? Of course I want to go outlah dumb fuck...stupid or what? (I didn't say that to him) so I politely replied...

Me : "saya mau keluar tapi tag dekat rumah"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

Me : "mau keluarlah...tag tak ada, boleh kasi nak itu tiang"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

By then my temper was really up to my head. Making it worst the car behind me was honking like fuck shit! Bloody man and his dumb wife! And so I got down from the car, went over to the dumb guard and said...

Me : "oui bang, boleh buka itu tiang, saya punya tag dekat atas"

Spastic Guard : "mana mari, mana tag"

I think by then the other guard on duty knew that I was pissed and he apologised and duly open the tiang. The spastic could have apologise and told me what his problems was but he didn't. The words from my mouth was filthier than the rubbish dump. How could they possibly employ somewhat like that?? Guard you know..guard that is suppose to protect us!!#$*&%^>.

Ok so I was finally on my way after 15 minutes. Then came the 2nd part. As I was waiting to turn out to the main road out came this blue Datsun 120Y from nowhere, jumped que and cut in with no signal or anything. I was once again tested...and saying to myself loudly..."lu punya bapak punya jalan ar pundek"! Fine...nothing much I could do except honk. Moving on to LDP
driving on the outer lane...as always infront of me a nice sedan car neither on the left nor right driving as if their car is the only car on the highway! I flashed, I honked, I raised my hands all sorts..they didn't move at all. Blast them(just two people) so i accelerated past them stared at them and guess what...it was two middle aged ladies (like those "tai-tai" typelah) talking, laughing without giving a hoot who was behind them! After half an hour on the road I wanted to turn back and head home.

Reached the market, couldn't find a parking, waited for few minutes, saw a car wanted to come out and straightaway put up my indicator...I bet you all out there can figure out what happened next...sigh

What is wrong with Malaysians out there? There have no bloody manners and etiquette at all, be anywhere, in restaurant eating with the mouth open widely and chowing their food nosily and greedily like hogs upon realease from the den! Not queing up...excuse are they are in a hurry. Well ma'am so am i and the rest of the 4.5 million damn you! The aunties are the worst...they just pretend they don't hear you or they don't know. Jesus, I hope my aunties and those aunties I know are not one of them!!

Ha...during festive season when the ministers have their "Open House" I can guarantee you will see the worst side of them. All ready with their tupperwares and containers ready to pack home!! Tsk tsk tsk...hello tak pernah makan ke, tak pergi sekolahke...mak tak ajar bersopan santunnya!!

And that is just a mere half of it, not fogetting those at the service counters all across the country that are not smiling, not being polite, never say thank you when it is necessary

Cruising for bruising idiots.

I am totally mortified by them...