My birthday came and went without much fanfare really. Just had a normal dinner with work mates and then proceeded to what we called "clubbing"!! Went to Rain at Mont Kiara and it turned out to be a terribly bad choice!!! For a friday night it was a real let down....it was pathetic, no crowd at all and the music was super lousy!! Luckily there were pool tables so we had to channel our boredom to that...sigh
That was not my real concern anyway...I have friends wishing me BUT the person or persons I was waiting for to either sms or at least call me never materilised. I had expected it but then some where inside me I was still hoping for something. This is my most down and sad birthday I have ever went through for the past few years. Oh...both my favourite aunties as well as sisters were the very first people to wished me so I was happy for that moment. Jessica and Shebear gave me two very lovely T-shirts...and I loved it!! Muaks muaks...
I supposed I should'nt expect so much huh...knowing the current situation. So at least the answer is very obvious now..."the river of no return". I will wait no matter what....months, years..what else can I do.
I think of you each and every day and I miss you almost every minute of the day.
Memories of you will be with me forever....just like a tattoo I will always have you with me.
Auf Wiedersehen for now.....
Monday, 22 October 2007
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
The Leaf Has Overturned
It sure has been a hell of a one and a half month since I last updated my blog! I don't think I would want to go through that again. Work or personal matters..it both sucks to the maximum.
These past few months I have learnt tremendously in Spade be it good or bad. Though I am wiser it did drained me physically and mentally so much that I actually started smoking again. Yeah..I know it takes two to tango...my will power has let me down again.
The streak of bad luck was like a never-ending marathon...my car wind screen got smashed, the painting I brought from Bali was gone together with some other treasured stuffs. Have to admit it was my carelessness that led to it. No use crying over spilled milk..I supposed...sigh.
As I approach my 42 years on earth, I think my luck is changing for the better. Suddenly, all things seems to be shining brightly again!! A little patience and endurance does work actually. Godsend perhaps...ah always never lose faith in HIM. "Whenever a door closed, another window open" Suddenly I feel lucky again and all I need to do is to keep being positive and not think about stupid things or let other stuffs drown me. Ignorance is bliss...so true. Mind matters: Think Not, Want Not, Ponder Not, Crazy Not.
My dear ones, Give me a choice....not just a choice between cheese and ham BUT the possibility to think for myself.
Keeping my fingers cross so tightly....the good luck will be here to stay for a long long time.
God Bless
These past few months I have learnt tremendously in Spade be it good or bad. Though I am wiser it did drained me physically and mentally so much that I actually started smoking again. Yeah..I know it takes two to tango...my will power has let me down again.
The streak of bad luck was like a never-ending marathon...my car wind screen got smashed, the painting I brought from Bali was gone together with some other treasured stuffs. Have to admit it was my carelessness that led to it. No use crying over spilled milk..I supposed...sigh.
As I approach my 42 years on earth, I think my luck is changing for the better. Suddenly, all things seems to be shining brightly again!! A little patience and endurance does work actually. Godsend perhaps...ah always never lose faith in HIM. "Whenever a door closed, another window open" Suddenly I feel lucky again and all I need to do is to keep being positive and not think about stupid things or let other stuffs drown me. Ignorance is bliss...so true. Mind matters: Think Not, Want Not, Ponder Not, Crazy Not.
My dear ones, Give me a choice....not just a choice between cheese and ham BUT the possibility to think for myself.
Keeping my fingers cross so tightly....the good luck will be here to stay for a long long time.
God Bless
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
The Spade-noid Warriors
The event that has everyone all excited came and went pretty quickly!! Yes, aha I am talking about the paintball outing we had last week at Sungei Buloh. It was sure a long awaited company trip...thanks to Lee Lian (new addition to Spade) for pushing the bosses hard to finally say yes!MudTrekker, just about half an hour drive from PJ is sure a "sleepy hollow" town, full of drivers with their 10 ton lorries plying the dusty roads leading to the battle ground, Malay styled kampung houses occupying both sides of the small and narrow lane.
The games started at about 11.15am and ended at 1.00pm. Boy, was it hot!! Super hot!! It was just so marvellous and fantastic to be able to sweat at last..gosh, I have not been sweating since my grandpa's 80th birthday!! Ehehe...jokinglah!! Divided into 2 teams headed by both Liew and Anthony, all of us blasted our way through the muddy and dusty ground of MudTrekker!! The gun was rather heavy but I was surprised that it carry enormous of power...the pellet enable us to hit the target as far as 30m or so.....and believe me it does hurt if you get hit! The pellets are fast just like we see in real bullets...flying everywhere around us. I got hit by Lee Lian (shucks) !! Poor Yuki got shot 6 times...!!
We had 4 games all together...both team did not manage to get each other flag though. Good experience for all of us....we survived the game with lots of blue blacks (as big as 50 cent coin or bigger even) and bruises. Again here, have to take my hats off to the trainee Yit Mei...she just went all out..she was the "Braved Heart" of Anthony's team...:)
Me and Kopi Queen had the last laugh on the 4th and final game...it was close but not close enough...Llyod, you are terminated!
Good to have you around Pig Pig..that was a real surprise!
I would do it all over again anytime.....
Monday, 10 September 2007
I will remember you
I have nothing to offer you..but I hunger for your touch alone lonely time. And time goes by so slowly and time can do so much..are you still are mine. God speed your love to me...oh my god, doesn't it sound like "Unchained Melody"???
Sorry, I haven't been updating but it has been hell at work for me. Can't figure out what the hell is going on and what I am getting myself into? Simply..this world sucks. Another 3 hours more and it is going be another 11 September. 7 years ago and the yielding anger is still there. Whether it is for the terrorists of Osama Bin Laden or the American heroes who perished on that fateful day...leaving behind their loved ones to mourn for them forever. " Even though I walk to the valley of the shadows of death I fear no evil for you are with me...none of us will forget this day...and "We will remember you"
What has the world become? Everybody is dying...God damn it..Luciano Pavarotti died last week. Am not a great fan but there were tenors and then there was Pavorotti!! He sang in Malaysian soil...so thats how close we can get!! Can you feel him?
Me...Andrea Bocelli. I am truly your numero uno fan. Well..."somos novios" but hell its true my man especially when you sing "Les Feuilees Mortes"..you simply take my breath away.
Averdeci Senior Luciano.....
Monday, 20 August 2007
You had me at "Hello"
Past 2 months has been appaling for me be it it personal of at work. Did I bring it upon myself or was it the situation that forced me to become this way in the first place?
What have I learned from all these? Am I a better person from where I was two years ago? I don't know...I really don't know. At times when you think you are on top of everything it falls apart! People often quote "Whatever goes around comes around and whatever goes up must come down". Karma is a funny thing and I believe it is in existance so much so I am pretty sure I am experiencing it now.
I am really lost...to what my next step would be. Do I continue pursuing it or just learn to let go? Or by sitting here doing nothing will I lose you forever? For once, I learned that as a person we have to be honest and truthful with those who love us. Once it is gone, chances are we will never get it back. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways and this will where I am now. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in our lives.
He often say "When we have many kinds of troubles, we should be full of joy, because we know that these troubles test our faith, and give us patience"
Losing you was a great lesson learnt for me but it is too late. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I hurt you greatly..infact too deep for you to even forgive me. There is not a single day that goes by without me thinking about you. What I have now is just memories which I will carry around with me wherever I go. When will I be able to see you again, sit down over a cup of coffee, talk and laugh about the good times? I am hoping it will be soon but that is impossible I know.
LIFE IS AN ECHO. What we send out, we get it back. What we give, we receive. WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS, WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OURSELVES.
Workwise am I happy? Again the same answer. Often I asked myself this question too. Perhaps we should look at other people predicament rather than just focusing on our own. We are working under one roof anyway so maybe to give and take will be better than being at war with each other. Please enlighten me. "SUCCESS CAN BE MEASURED NOT ONLY IN ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IN LESSONS LEARNED, LIVES TOUCHED AND MOMENTS SHARED ALONG THE WAY"
The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us....my choice will be the latter.
Lets forgive and forget and move forward instead of backward.
God uses problems to PERFECT us.
Keep well Jasmine.
What have I learned from all these? Am I a better person from where I was two years ago? I don't know...I really don't know. At times when you think you are on top of everything it falls apart! People often quote "Whatever goes around comes around and whatever goes up must come down". Karma is a funny thing and I believe it is in existance so much so I am pretty sure I am experiencing it now.
I am really lost...to what my next step would be. Do I continue pursuing it or just learn to let go? Or by sitting here doing nothing will I lose you forever? For once, I learned that as a person we have to be honest and truthful with those who love us. Once it is gone, chances are we will never get it back. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways and this will where I am now. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in our lives.
He often say "When we have many kinds of troubles, we should be full of joy, because we know that these troubles test our faith, and give us patience"
Losing you was a great lesson learnt for me but it is too late. I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I hurt you greatly..infact too deep for you to even forgive me. There is not a single day that goes by without me thinking about you. What I have now is just memories which I will carry around with me wherever I go. When will I be able to see you again, sit down over a cup of coffee, talk and laugh about the good times? I am hoping it will be soon but that is impossible I know.
LIFE IS AN ECHO. What we send out, we get it back. What we give, we receive. WHEN WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS, WE BRING OUT THE BEST IN OURSELVES.
Workwise am I happy? Again the same answer. Often I asked myself this question too. Perhaps we should look at other people predicament rather than just focusing on our own. We are working under one roof anyway so maybe to give and take will be better than being at war with each other. Please enlighten me. "SUCCESS CAN BE MEASURED NOT ONLY IN ACHIEVEMENTS, BUT IN LESSONS LEARNED, LIVES TOUCHED AND MOMENTS SHARED ALONG THE WAY"
The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us....my choice will be the latter.
Lets forgive and forget and move forward instead of backward.
God uses problems to PERFECT us.
Keep well Jasmine.
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Some people are so dramatic and fake!!!
Ever come across people who are really annoying and irritating in whatever they do? Don't understand why I am trying to say? Well, let me enlighten you my fellow friends or whoever you are.
I would like to refer them as 'oxy morons' or 'attention seekers' to be more precise. Like "Drama Minggu Ini", they love to be involved in everything even if it doesn't concern them at all. They just like to be a part of every god damn thing!! They are so bloody busybody that out of nowhere you will see their head popping up in unwanted situation where the conversation has nothing to with them. They just barge in as if the world only revolve around them. Also, not forgetting to say they are FASTER THAN A BULLET TRAIN IN KEPOHCHENESS AND AS LOUD OR THE LOUDEST IN BROADCASTING THEMSELVES....A SPOT ABOVE CNN!!!These people just want to have the finest stuffs, they get jealous easily.....they think they are the best. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NUMERO UNO!!!!
Further more, they can't stand it if someone else have something that are better than theirs. They love to show off, they like to get sympathy when they are sick or for anything that matters. They are rude, they whine like hogs and have no sense of manners!!Tsk tsk tsk...get a life!!
Most of the times they try to act smart but they are not and normally it backfires! I feel sorry for them for being so ignorant...practically they make a fool out of themselves without ever noticing it and the sick thing is they think they are co cute!!! That is so pathetic...I rather be in the company of a wild boar! At least they are not phony!!God help them.
So if you want to be a faker...please take lessons and make sure you come out good and don't let me catch you with your stupidity...you double crosser!! For I am a greater prentender than you are!!
Oh...okay fine, run to mummy and cry now....shame of you!!
Are you one of them?
I would like to refer them as 'oxy morons' or 'attention seekers' to be more precise. Like "Drama Minggu Ini", they love to be involved in everything even if it doesn't concern them at all. They just like to be a part of every god damn thing!! They are so bloody busybody that out of nowhere you will see their head popping up in unwanted situation where the conversation has nothing to with them. They just barge in as if the world only revolve around them. Also, not forgetting to say they are FASTER THAN A BULLET TRAIN IN KEPOHCHENESS AND AS LOUD OR THE LOUDEST IN BROADCASTING THEMSELVES....A SPOT ABOVE CNN!!!These people just want to have the finest stuffs, they get jealous easily.....they think they are the best. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NUMERO UNO!!!!
Further more, they can't stand it if someone else have something that are better than theirs. They love to show off, they like to get sympathy when they are sick or for anything that matters. They are rude, they whine like hogs and have no sense of manners!!Tsk tsk tsk...get a life!!
Most of the times they try to act smart but they are not and normally it backfires! I feel sorry for them for being so ignorant...practically they make a fool out of themselves without ever noticing it and the sick thing is they think they are co cute!!! That is so pathetic...I rather be in the company of a wild boar! At least they are not phony!!God help them.
So if you want to be a faker...please take lessons and make sure you come out good and don't let me catch you with your stupidity...you double crosser!! For I am a greater prentender than you are!!
Oh...okay fine, run to mummy and cry now....shame of you!!
Are you one of them?
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
I Quit!
Fag, coffin nail, butt, gasper, cancer stick...whatever it is...I would rather call it "Killers that travel in packs"
Been smoking for awhile now. Did stopped for 2 years way back in the early 90s and due to influence of others picked it up again until that one fateful night of July 6 2007, I guess enough is enough..I officially quit smoking.
It has been a week now and I am feeling fine really though at times the
craving is terribly bad especially when work load is at maximum gear with all the unwanted stress going around.
In life I think we need to compensate and sacrifice certain things. For me I have decided to sever this relationship with the Marlboro Man after the only person who cared and loved me discarded me. You might say it is a way to redeem myself..sigh.
Yeah,of course when my friends smokes infront of me I will be tempted but I am good so far and shall be pretty please with myself if I can pull through. The only time I will be tested fully will be when I am drinking...alcohol I mean. Ciggys are the best compliment! No doubts I am struggling at times when I am depress and need a puff badly. So far I am in "cruise control".
Do I have the mental capacity to withstand nicotine?
Call me if you want to know....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
